Is My Time Up?

A few weeks ago, I was told “Your bladder is fine now, you’re cured”.

My face said it all but being blessed with patience, I politely pointed out that by definition, an incurable condition cannot be cured.

I have been extremely fortunate to fall into remission but not a day, or actually a few hours, goes by without thinking how long will it last.

Every time I pee, I sit there thinking “Is my time up?”

The past few weeks, I’ve felt like a ticking time bomb. Plagued with daily bladder pain & exhaustion, it’s fair to say, I’m pretty scared.

So what am I going to do?

Well, firstly, talk about it. No point bottling this shit up. I hate being the girl who has bladder pain, who isn’t feeling well, who is tired for no good reason but as Keala Settle would say “This is Me” (what a cracking tune).

Secondly…well the plan stops there!

Dietary changes I hear you scream? Not on my watch. Readers of this blog will know the slippery slope dieting led me down and I have come too far to fall down that black, chocolate-less hole.

I do (begrudgingly) accept my alcohol & fizzy drink consumption could be curbed (a little). Many months ago, whilst doing my remission happy dance, I was so sure of adhering to my water only diet. Well, several Mojitos and a few bottles of 7 Up later, I forgot my pledge and now live in artificial sweetener heaven .

Perhaps this blip is my bladder’s way of saying “Calm the fuck down”.

I have a busy Summer of surgery, therapy, work promotion & weddings galore so looking after myself has to be number one priority. I hope you all adopt the same philosophy and remember your health (physical & mental) is more important than anything else.

All my love,
Emma x

 

My laparoscopy is scheduled for 19th June. Head to my Instagram (@brokenbladder)  to follow the journey and watch this space for a blog post on my experience.

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Is My Time Up?

  1. Kelly says:

    I was diagnosed with IC around 8 weeks ago and I’m really struggling to cope at the moment. I’m having bladder instillation and after having 5 weekly treatments I’m no better. Today I had a bad flare which resulted in me going to hospital for stronger pain killers, I feel I can’t eat anything or drink anything but water and it just makes me extremely depressed. I’m hoping there’s light at the end of the tunnel and the constant pain will eventually go away .

    Like

    • brokenbladder says:

      Hi Kelly, sorry you are suffering so much. I think it’s a little too early to tell if the instillations will work so try and carry on with them if you can. If they are making the pain too unbearable then consider discontinuing them as they don’t work for everyone. Normally people see an improvement from number six onwards.

      Do you know if any particular food or drink flares you? If there isn’t, don’t be scared to eat. Having fear around food will not help your stress and avoiding food will be detrimental for your body in other ways. I know it’s difficult 💜

      There is always light at the end of the tunnel! Lots of people find remission so never give up hope 💜

      Like

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