A few weeks ago, I was told “Your bladder is fine now, you’re cured”.
My face said it all but being blessed with patience, I politely pointed out that by definition, an incurable condition cannot be cured.
I have been extremely fortunate to fall into remission but not a day, or actually a few hours, goes by without thinking how long will it last.
Every time I pee, I sit there thinking “Is my time up?”
The past few weeks, I’ve felt like a ticking time bomb. Plagued with daily bladder pain & exhaustion, it’s fair to say, I’m pretty scared.
So what am I going to do?
Well, firstly, talk about it. No point bottling this shit up. I hate being the girl who has bladder pain, who isn’t feeling well, who is tired for no good reason but as Keala Settle would say “This is Me” (what a cracking tune).
Secondly…well the plan stops there!
Dietary changes I hear you scream? Not on my watch. Readers of this blog will know the slippery slope dieting led me down and I have come too far to fall down that black, chocolate-less hole.
I do (begrudgingly) accept my alcohol & fizzy drink consumption could be curbed (a little). Many months ago, whilst doing my remission happy dance, I was so sure of adhering to my water only diet. Well, several Mojitos and a few bottles of 7 Up later, I forgot my pledge and now live in artificial sweetener heaven .
Perhaps this blip is my bladder’s way of saying “Calm the fuck down”.
I have a busy Summer of surgery, therapy, work promotion & weddings galore so looking after myself has to be number one priority. I hope you all adopt the same philosophy and remember your health (physical & mental) is more important than anything else.
All my love,
My laparoscopy is scheduled for 19th June. Head to my Instagram (@brokenbladder) to follow the journey and watch this space for a blog post on my experience.