Hello Endo

Hospitals are so grim aren’t they?! The air is filled with nothing but sadness and sickness. I do my best to stay clear but recently became an overnight resident after my long awaited laparoscopy.

A laparoscopy is essentially keyhole surgery to poke around your insides with a camera and carry out small surgical procedures. In my case, it was a root around for Endometriosis (Endo) which is a condition where the tissue that lines the womb is found outside the womb in other places such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladder, bowel and in serious cases, other parts of the body like the lungs and brain.

Symptoms include pelvic pain, heavy & painful periods, pain during / after sex, bladder & bowel problems and infertility.

I arrived promptly at the hospital for 7.30am although it was another SEVEN HOURS before I had my surgery. Seven long hours being nil by mouth and bored senseless.

I was hangry, thirsty and would have devoured a small child given the chance!

The Doctor explained that if they found Endometrosis, it would be burnt away (called ablation) or if too severe, it would be left for more specialist surgery (called excision).

The third option was they would find absolutely nothing. That was the bit that scared me the most because as much as I didn’t want another chronic illness diagnosis (there is no cure for Endo), I also didn’t want to be told there was nothing wrong.

Bed with a View

As I was waiting outside the operating theatre, the staff tried to take my mind off things and I managed a full 5 minutes of Love Island gossip before drifting off.

I woke abruptly to a tube being taken out of my mouth (For anyone worried, I barely remember this and it didn’t hurt) and lots of pelvic pain. I was topped up with Morphine and given lots of reassurance.

My top tip in the recovery room, is be honest about your pain. 
Don’t suffer unnessecarily!

A new Doctor arrived and pulled the curtain which I took to be a bad sign. She explained they found and removed Endometriosis from both ovaries and the Pouch of Douglas
(the area behind the womb and in front of the rectum)

My bladder was stuck to my uterus but they couldn’t do anything about this. I’ll be referred to an Endometriosis clinic for further treatment.

I was left with mixed emotions; happy they found it,
pissed off with my stupid body and
fearful about the future.

I was wheeled back to my ward and tried to eat some toast but with a mouth drier than the Sahara, it proved difficult. The nausea quickly set in and things went downhill from there.

I was given an anti sickness injection which brought me out in a rash and I was so groggy, I could barely hold a conversation. Having remembered previous experiences with anaesthetic, I knew this wasn’t normal for me.

As the hours ticked by, I had no urge to urinate, developed a temperature and was still half asleep. When they said I was being kept overnight, I was too drowsy to say anything other than, “Sorry for being a pain”.

I arrived on my next ward and what a fucking surprise,
I needed a piss.

I swore at myself several times and shuffled off to the toilet. Five minutes later, I had produced two drops of urine and my bladder was on fire.

I asked in desperation for pain relief and in the two hours it took to arrive, the pain had driven me to planning my funeral and appropriate dress code (no black allowed guys).

The next time I needed the toilet, I was given a jug so they could measure my output. This time was more successful, although no less painful and I was totally worn out.

I walked back, carrying my jug of piss and looking like an extra from Shaun of the Dead, to be greeted by my boyfriend. Not my best look but he’s seen me hungover so it’s nothing new.

I didn’t care what I looked like though, I was more interested in the sandwich he was delivering because if food couldn’t make me feel better, there was no hope.

I need to know the secret to sleeping in a Hospital?!
What’s the trick?

All the snoring, talking and beeping machines had me going slowly insane. I lay there pondering what I’d done to deserve this and vowed to become a better person if I could get forty winks but it didn’t work.

I was sent home the next day and after about 24 hours, I was pee’ing normally. My belly was very sore and painful for the next few days but then eased off.

The tiredness has been harder to shake, although in the months leading up to my laparoscopy, I found myself very tired for no apparent reason. Turns out, fatigue hits Endo sufferers hard, so perhaps it hasn’t all been in my head (like I feared).

Redness due to the previous dressing.
Llama PJs courtesy of Tesco.

Two days after surgery
(excuse the messy room, I couldn’t be bothered making it pretty for the picture)

I am really struggling with bloating and that is a major trigger for my eating disorder (insert eye roll). I feel like I have tried most things but any de-bloating tips are appreciated!

As to what the future holds, I have no idea. I’ll likely need hormone treatment to suppress the growth of Endo but that comes with many reservations as the contraceptive pill doesn’t agreed with me. I will have to see what the specialist says about my bladder making friends with my uterus and I’m hoping it doesn’t mean more surgery.

For now, I am making the most of my Netflix subscription, eating endless tubs of ice cream and staying optimistic.

Emma x

5 thoughts on “Hello Endo

  1. Suzy says:

    Emma you are an amazing writer. You had me gripped to the end. Have you tried writing a book .. your like my daughter. Uses humour to get through difficult circumstances. You are an amazing young woman. Think bloating, think the air the pumped into you.. lots of trumping as my granddaughter puts it. I’ve had a horrible bout of sciatica which stopped me running. My sanity and weigh5 control. However the up side of that was the 75g of Amitripyline I ended up on stopped all my bladder symptoms. I’m down to 50. Had a couple of flares prolly due to alcohol 🍷 probably. But nothing like before. I’ve also started making my own kefir. So easy. Buy the starters in Lakeland and can keep it going for months. Not twice as the instructions advise. Read Dr Michael Moseley..healthy gut. Makes a lot of sense. You are dealing with so much. Keep writing. Look forward to reading your first book. Suzy🙄😷


    • brokenbladder says:

      Thanks Suzy, you are always so complimentary! Pleased to hear things have been manageable for you, life is always better with a few 🍷 I will look into Dr Moseley, I think gut health definitely needs to be taken a lot more seriously. Thanks for all the support xx


  2. Jen St. John says:


    Hope you are on the road to recovery and completely empathise with you and what you have been through…..I too have endo and had my second surgery in February this year…….us endo suffers are truly amazing people and built of the hard stuff!! If you fancy reading my journey go to http://www.jenstjohn.com…... I’ve 2 blogs ‘me and my endo’ and ‘my health journey continues’……..I think we could be endo buddies!!!


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